Some people don’t understand my obsession with Prince. If you follow on me Instagram or Twitter, you’ll have likely come across more than a few posts referencing The Purple One. He’s been a part of my life since I was a wee tot. My older sister snuck me into the movie theater to see Purple Rain the year it came out. She covered my eyes during the kissing scenes and, of course, when Apollonia stripped naked and dunked herself in the pristine waters of what she thought was Lake Minnetonka.
I was in awe of the tiny man who wore a ruffled shirt, tight pants, and high-heeled boots. I mean who wouldn’t be? Prince was a force.
The day he died went something like this…
That April afternoon, I was sitting at my desk, nursing my morning cup of coffee, going through Excel spreadsheets in my office when I get at text from my bestie — an article from the NY Daily News declaring Prince is dead.
I text her back: THIS SHIT IS NOT FUNNY!
Bestie: I know, I’m not joking.
Despite it being a little after noon, it’s too early for this, and this coffee ain’t doing nothing but making my heart race even more. Google usually never lets me down, but today they are on some bullshit. The top search result is a blurb from the Associated Press, supposedly quoting Prince’s publicist. He’s dead.
Fuck this. These people are ridiculous. Why are people spreading such horrible lies?
But that little voice in the back of my mind says, “His publicist confirmed it, so it must be true.” It can’t be.
On my non-author Facebook account I post: This has to be some kind of hoax, right? Right?
I go to lunch, walking like a zombie through the crowded cafeteria and wanting to scream at every smiling face, “HOW CAN YOU SMILE WHEN PEOPLE ARE SAYING PRINCE IS DEAD?”
A friend calls to check in on me, and I start bawling on the phone, unable to compose a sentence.
My heart aches.
My head hurts.
Confirmation comes in a slew of articles. But the only one I truly care about is from TMZ. I mean the AP is good, but TMZ? They don’t post anything about celebrity deaths unless it’s true.
I am numb.
I leave work early.
I am still in denial.
I receive a few texts and don’t respond to any.
At home I dig through my CD’s because, yes, I’m one of those people who has a massive CD collection—cases and all. I’M OLD SCHOOL. So, I take out all my Prince CD’s and pour myself a glass of wine, and have a dance party in my living room. I get drunk and bawl my eyes out. I cry for hours while dancing. It is like I lost a treasured family member.
There is a hole in my heart that will never fully mend.
It’s been a few months since Prince’s passing and I’m still not completely okay. I don’t think life will ever be the same. The Earth lost a little bit of lovesexy badassery the day Prince died. In 2016 we experienced an uncanny amount of celebrity deaths, but no other death hit me like runaway freight train. I felt lost, alone, lonely… numb. Bowie was great, but not and icon for me. He wasn’t a part of my childhood, of my teen years, my adult life. Prince was always a constant.
I will always miss you Prince Rogers Nelson. You’ll forever be a sexy motherfucker.
Top Five Fave Prince Songs: