Hey Party People! *waves enthusiastically*

I’m sure everyone has been wondering what the heck happened to my April blog post, especially since I said I would update the blog more frequently. Then I dropped a selfie on IG and Facebook encouraging everyone to sign up for my newsletter and stay tuned for an announcement, and POOF I went silent. I swear it wasn’t a ploy! I had the best intentions. Allow me to elaborate…

Almost everyone knows I don’t write full-time, and my day job is in the medical field—more specifically, medical research. I received a promotion (YAY!!!) at the end of February, and I hit the ground running with the transition in March, which made March and April a blur. As a result, day job responsibilities have taken center stage and essentially threw a wrench into my end-of-first quarter writing plans and my impending announcement. Not to worry though, I’m still working on getting those plans finalized, and I’ve completed a good portion of the work, but there’s still much left to do. I’m adjusting while trying to find my new normal.

The good news is although I’m in the midst of redefining normal, I’m chugging along, and I FEEL AMAZING! My extended social media hiatus has been fantastic for my health. I don’t know if I will ever return to social media regularly, but I won’t say it’s off the table forever. All the petty bullshit within the genre coupled with the worrisome news cycles is draining, and I choose to concentrate on being productive and focus on what’s important: my family, my friends, my career, and my self-care. Health is wealth. Priorities, amirite?

In any case, I’ve been reading quite a bit. I’m active on Goodreads. Follow me there if you’re interested in what tickles my fancy as of late. I’ve also been streaming quality television which brings me to all the shit I’m digging:

Watch 📺

The Undoing 

WHEW, CHILE! I had no idea what I was in for. I have never been a Nicole Kidman fan, but she won me over with Big Little Lies, and The Undoing continues her streak of incredible roles. I am officially a Nicole Kidman mega fan! She picks impressive projects. The premise? Nicole Kidman and Hugh Grant are a well-to-do couple living in Manhattan. He’s a pediatric oncologist, and she’s a psychologist. On the outside, their marriage looks picture-perfect; it’s anything but. I blew through this series in a day. A DAY. It’s addictive. The Undoing is now streaming on HBO and HBO Max. Check out the teaser trailer:

Seaspiracy 

I’m a documentary junkie, and this one left me in tears. Humans are incredibly destructive and unnecessarily so. Climate change is the biggest threat of our lifetime. So many things are considered pressing issues, but without a planet, none of them are relevant. If we care about future generations and sustainability, we have to reverse a lot of our actions. We make contributions to society every day via individual choices. Being mindful of those choices goes a long way, and I believe when people are well-informed, newly obtained knowledge can influence their behavior. With that said, Seaspiracy is now streaming on Netflix. Bring some Kleenex.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League

LISTEN!!! THIS MOVIE WAS FOUR HOURS OF WONDERFUL. I loathed the Joss Whedon version of the Justice League. I remember leaving the theater angry as heck because I paid fifteen dollars for that trash. Movies in New York City are pretty expensive, and if I’m paying to see something in the theater, it’s because I’m super excited, and I wholeheartedly believe I’m going to get my money’s worth. Not so folks, not so. Warner Bros fumbled the bag by not letting Snyder finish his vision and round out the final installments of the franchise. This is why DC will never truly rival Marvel. I highly suggest watching Man of Steel, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice the Ultimate Edition before jumping into the Justice League. They are badass. You can stream all the titles on HBO Max.

Read📚

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab 

Earlier in my post, I mentioned focusing on what’s important. This book is a blueprint on handling difficult situations and advocating for yourself when people drain your energy and attempt to block you from achieving greatness.

Waking Up Married by Reese Ryan 

It’s no secret I’m a huge Reese Ryan fan, and when she releases a Harlequin Desire, I’m all over it. Waking Up Married includes my favorite trope of all time, friends to lovers. Reese continues to make me fall in love with her characters, and Zora and Dallas were no different. WUM is a super quick and super cute read!

On Managing Yourself from the Harvard Business Review

With my plate overflowing with tasks  due to the promotion, I needed to figure out how to keep my head above water without feeling overwhelmed, and the Harvard Business Review came through. My Goodreads review states I’ll never view monkeys the same again. I’m sure that confused quite a bit of folk, but here’s the article my comment was referencing: Management Time: Who’s Got the Monkey? 

Listen 🎧

These classic songs have been in constant rotation and giving me all the feels.

Love’s In Need of Love Today by Stevie Wonder 

Between the rise in COVID cases in India, the coup in Myanmar, police raids in Brazil, the GOP continuing to eat their own (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I digress), Lorne Michaels thinking Elon Musk hosting Saturday Night Live is a good idea; the world continues to feel like a giant dumpster fire. One day last week, I put this song on and cried. I mean, ugly cried. A fair amount of snot was involved. But, sometimes, you have to let it out, and Stevie was the artist I wanted to share the moment with. Songs in the Key of Life is also one of his best albums. Give it a listen in its entirety. 

Just Another Dream 7” US Mix by Cathy Dennis ft D-Mob

Cathy Dennis’ Move to This album (in cassette form) was one I had on constant rotation back in the day. FUN FACT: Did you know Cathy Dennis co-wrote Britney Spears’ Toxic? OH, YES, SHE DID. After crying, I wanted to restore my happiness. So, of course, the quickest way to regain happiness is to get a 90s dance party going in your living room. This brings me to my next song…

Sexual (Li Da Di) - Thunderpuss Remix by Amber

I was a club kid in the 90s. Limelight, Tunnel and Exit were a significant part of my youth. In college, I attended a lot of frat parties, and this song was HOT. While writing this, I had a flashback to all those dance compilation CDs advertised on TV: Now That’s What I Call Music Volume 2,431 😂😂😂 Amber was on virtually every single one. Good times y’all, good times. I’m not going to link the music video because it’s so damn awful. The inclusion of the chihuahua still boggles my mind. Here’s the audio instead: Sexual

Lastly, Phil “I’ve got more soul in my pinky toe than most people have in their entire body” Collins’ Sussudio

I’ve had Phil’s greatest hits on rotation a lot. In particular, Sussudio. It’s my favorite song of his. Did you know the horns are courtesy of Earth Wind and Fire’s Phenix horn section? And Phil was influenced by Prince’s 1999 when he wrote it? People said it sounded too much like 1999, and Phil made changes in the studio. The guy said he didn’t want to rip off Black music. He was very aware of his limitations and acknowledged them. You have to respect artists who know where to draw the line between influence, imitation, and theft. 

I love watching this video. You see this bland British guy in a suit talking, and when he opens his mouth, you’re like meh, “What a wanker.” Then the music starts, he sings, and the whole vibe changes. 😯 MY DUDE IS SANGIN’. I don’t know how all those people continue to sit while the man’s jammin’. They only get up halfway through the performance! 

And that concludes the shit I’m digging this week, folks! I’ll be back toward the end of the month with an update on the status of my announcement.

Ohhh… one last thing worth sharing. On April 9th, my parents celebrated 55 years of marriage. LOL, I can’t say wedded bliss because my Dad is a handful, but 55 years?! That’s pretty freaking amazing. 🥰

Take care of yourselves and Happy early Mother’s Day to all the mom’s and mom figures reading. If Mother’s Day is a challenging day for you, I wish you peace, love, and light. 💕

Hey Peeps!

Can you believe it’s March already? Happy Women’s History Month! We also have the spring equinox making a guest appearance in two weeks. I don’t know about you, but I’m so over cold temperatures and snow. Yesterday’s weather was bananas—a low of 21 and a high of 32 degrees in NYC. I thought we were turning the tide! I’m desperate for Mother Nature to step out from the shadows and get her glow on. BRING IT, MUTHA! I feel like I blinked, and February flew by, but these last two months have been SUPER productive for me. I’m on track to completing my first quarter goals, and I’m excited to share all the things I’ve been working on. 😊

If you aren’t subscribed to my newsletter, now is the time to sign up! You don’t want to miss the announcement when it drops! 

Now, without further ado, here’s the shit I’ve been digging:

Read 📚

This book is full of practical advice when it comes to (in the words of Congresswoman Maxine Waters) reclaiming your time. I’m guilty of saying, “I don’t have enough hours in the day to do XYZ.” Well, this book made me think long and hard about why. When you focus on how you spend your time, you can accomplish more than you ever imagined. Time blocking has become my jam, y’all! Downward spirals happen, procrastination happens, but this book helps steer the reader in a positive direction. Dive in and get ready to conquer your to-do list! 

An article worthy of your time: Poet Danez Smith shares his experience on dating and being HIV+

Listen 🎧

The classical genre isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I promise you’ll quickly become a fan once you find artists you like. I dig Bach. I also adore violin concertos. Mash ‘em up with modern artists, and you get Hilary Hahn + the LA Orchestra alongside Jeffrey Kahane. I bought this CD years ago, but lately, I’ve been streaming the album on Spotify when I want to get into the zone and concentrate on tasks with minimal distractions (it’s PERFECT to listen to while writing). I also recommend listening after a long day. It’s a fantastic way to relax and unwind. #decompressyoself

NPR is heavenly! They offer superb podcasts, but I really love Life Kit because who doesn’t want to learn how to hack life? I suggest listening to the episodes back to back to get the full effect. The links will take you to Spotify, but you can also find the episodes on Apple Podcasts.

The Smart Way to Fall in Love

Description: You might remember Mandy Len Catron from her hit Modern Love essay about going through 36 questions to fall in love. You might have even tried those questions yourself. Catron’s book is called How to Fall in Love With Anyone, and Vice’s Rachel Wilkerson Miller spoke with her about it.

Getting Comfortable with Self-Pleasure 

Description: Human touch is essential. But in a socially distanced world, lots of people are starved for it. Figuring out what feels good to you, from a long hot bath to something more intimate, can be the first step to getting that much-needed touch. (Yes, this episode includes discussions of sex and sexuality.)

Download 📱

It’s natural to want to stay in the know, but being too plugged in can be detrimental to your physical and mental health. The news is often overwhelming. Doomscrolling through your social media feeds can needlessly increase anxiety levels. We all should incorporate digital detoxes into our lives, but if you’re going to spend time scrolling on your phone, why not make it productive? This lil app feeds you THEE BEST information in five-minute segments. It’s a gamechanger! Uptime is available for download via the Apple App Store. iPhone user here, but Android users of the world, I hope you’re able to get in on the fun too!

Watch 📺

I ❤ SAM TRAMMELL! I’ve been a stan since True Blood. I also felt like there was no way in hell he could handle Sookie *spoiler alert*, which is why the ending of the Sookie Stackhouse series annoys me to this day, but I digress. Reckoning is a great way to pass the time if you’re into darker shows. I blew through the episodes in a week! Reckoning is currently streaming on Netflix.

And that’s all, folks. I hope the shit I’ve been digging brings you some joy! Till next time…💕

Hey Folks! Happy “Drown your significant other in red and pink while drowning yourself in debt” Day – more commonly known as Valentine’s Day! 

I mean, if we’re keeping it real, your special someone should show you how much you’re adored all 365 days of the​ year, amirite? But that’s the thing about relationships. What should be obvious isn’t always. Platonic relationships/friendships aren’t that different from romantic/intimate relationships. 

Both require effort

Both require open communication

Both require self-reflection/emotional development 

I started reevaluating my friendships back in 2016 after the election. Talk about a reality check. No one wants to scan their contacts and wonder if that person is a raging racist. Do they believe all Mexicans are rapists? Would they respect someone who mocks the disabled? Are they totally on board with a man accused of multiple sexual assaults being the leader of the free world? Sadly, I learned people I trusted and thought highly of claimed to be allies of marginalized communities yet fully committed to the Trump brand. I have no desire to keep space in my life for people like that.

​When someone shows you who they are, believe them; the first time.  ― Maya Angelou  

One thing 2020 taught me is that relationships are like the NYC transit system. Unpredictable. You should always have a backup plan. Some relationships will endure through the toughest of times, and others will crumble. Sometimes you have to take a step back and let them die. It’s taken me a long time to reach that conclusion. The COVID-19 pandemic put a strain on many of my relationships already on their last leg, and I let them go with ease. I much preferred to Marie Kondo my life and “tidy up.” 

Think about the people in your life you consider friends. Do they bring you joy? Do they uplift you? Push you to be your best self? Rally around you when you need to vent about little things? Support you in all your kooky endeavors? Communicate and tell you things you don’t want to hear even when you need to hear them? Friendships should be reciprocal. If you’re always reaching out and providing support, but you don’t get it in return, ask yourself why. Are your feelings any less important? Why are you there for others, but they’re never there for you? 

On a day when we’re supposed to celebrate love, I ask that you reassess your relationships. Make a conscious effort to love yourself better by making space for people who genuinely love and support you. You deserve it.

Till next time…💖